"Young leader”: How I am facing the very first incident of my “pre-mature"​ leadership

I just got promoted to Associate Digital Manager last week. For a 23 y/o like me, this is a huge step. Even my line manager said that my career was going too fast and I needed to slow down now so I can be stronger in my every step. I didn’t think much about that until an incident happened. The very first thing that welcomed me to this new position was one of my team member’s decision to quit. This hit me so hard since this member is among the first few people that I train and supervise, which means I’ve put a lot of time and effort into them, not just as a colleague but also as a friend/a sister (and I am super confident with this). 

Two of the reasons that she pointed out was because: 1. She had to do so many tasks while I don’t, which she felt very overload & unfair and 2. Sometimes I was too harsh and aggressive to her. I have to admit that I never expected this to happen because our relationship has been pretty good since day one and I believe that to some points, we can be seen as more than just colleagues. And I thought that I was doing pretty well as a senior, a supervisor and a sister. So my first reaction was angry & disappointed, of course. I kept wondering why this happened after all that we have been through together. 

But people usually say don’t let the sun go down on your anger. So I decided to talk to two of my most important people: my boss & my mentor, to vent and to seek their advice on what should I do in such situation (venting to them do me no harm :D) Now after a week, I feel more calm and comfortable. So here are some few lessons that I have learnt from this incident:

1. I am the aggressive type. But for a young person like me, to lead/manage people in such way is an unfit strategy. Nobody likes to be told what to do, especially by someone at the same age. So instead, be softer when they make mistakes or demonstrate unhappy facial expressions. This will make them feel more sympathized and more willing to fix whatever they’ve done wrong.

2. Actions speak louder than words. Me not doing her tasks is not wrong, because that’s not my scope (my boss was fair enough to point out where each of us has gone wrong). But I also need to convince people that I am also working hard on my own scope so people will not make comparisons like such in the future. 

3. Instead of feeling angry, which can make things worst, let it go. Focus time and energy on things that are more crucial and make sure that all my tasks are done efficiently (another thing to prevent them from complaining or comparing).

4. Investing in a relationship is good, but I need to be more selective of the person whom I invest in. Most of the time, showcasing yourself too much (personally and emotionally) will do more harm than good (in fact, my mentor reminded me so many times about this but I did not pay much attention until now).

Finally, I talked to myself. As a positive person I have always been, think of the good memories that we have had together and consider this as just another argument that happens all the time at the workplace. This is probably one of my very first lessons about “leadership”. And while I sure will encounter much worse issues in the future, I will also learn a lot and grow to be a better leader.

21 Nov'19 - 00.00 am